I went to the doctor today for my normal baby check-up. I'm 13 weeks pregnant as of today, and the nurse could not find the baby's heartbeat with the doppler. She tried for at least 5-10 minutes to find it, and although she tried to play it cool saying things like, "Well, it's still really early in the pregnancy... Maybe the baby is just hiding." the look on her face told me she was expecting the worst. She even wished me luck before she walked out of the room. After the doctor came in and asked me questions like, "Have you been experiencing any bleeding?" (to which I answered "no"), he felt around my pelvis for a second and sent me downstairs for a quick ultrasound. I only had to wait about 5 minutes for the ultrasound, and I was pretty nervous! When the technician came to get me I was shaking, and I kept telling myself that I will be okay if the baby has passed away. It's not my fault, I didn't do anything to cause this to happen.
When the technician began the ultrasound I immediately saw my baby. I quickly analyzed every pixel of that ultrasound screen and decided that the baby appears to be the right size for 13 weeks, but I couldn't see a heartbeat. Just when I was about to panic the baby bounced off the wall of my uterus with his legs and instantly I sighed with relief. I told the technician, "Well, if he's moving, there's a heartbeat!". The technician agreed, he had already noticed the heartbeat. He determined that the heart was beating 155 times a minute, and even played the sound for us, but the heartbeat wasn't showing up very clearly on the ultrasound. In past ultrasounds I've always noticed the heartbeat as soon as the baby showed up. But regardless of the "clarity", the heartbeat was there, and the technician seemed to think everything looked great. Maybe it didn't show up as clearly because my bladder was entirely empty.
The technician also pointed out the placenta at the top of the screen and said, "There's the placenta. It's very vascular and is covering the front of the uterus, and may have gotten in the way when they were looking for the baby's heartbeat with the doppler." So apparently I have an anterior placenta, which is normally fine. The technician didn't seem concerned. But I read up on it and when I got home found out that if a person has had a c-section in the past (like me) it's possible for an anterior placenta to grow over top of (and sometimes into, and outside of) the old incision spot. This can be bad and dangerous. I could hemorrhage and die, which of course is the worst case scenario and worst case scenarios rarely happen. I'm not too worried about that currently, I doubt I'm going to die. But I could end up with a hysterectomy if the placenta doesn't separate properly from the old incision site after delivery. I definitely don't want a third kid for a long time, but I'm only 22 years old (23 in a few weeks) and I have a lot of childbearing years left. I'd prefer to not have a hysterectomy so young. I'm almost positive that in 10 years when my 2 kids are older and in school, I'll get baby fever and want another. I may or may not try for a third ever, but I'd like to have the option to.
Sometimes I think Google is my enemy and not my friend. I think I may be a hypochondriac and Google always tells me worst case scenarios about everything. I'm always terrified that myself or my loved ones are going to die. For instance, my husband has a BIG bruise on his hand. He doesn't know where it came from, but I'm just positive he has cancer and he's dying. Most likely it's just a normal bruise, but I almost have a panic attack every time I see it.
I guess what really matters today is that Dip is okay. He's alive and well in my belly, and hiding behind his placenta. Hey, I like to hide too. More than I like to admit.
In case you haven't noticed, we've stopped referring to Dip as a "she". Hubby and I suddenly think it's a boy, so we'll be calling Dip a "he" until we change our minds again or get proof of one gender or another.
When the technician began the ultrasound I immediately saw my baby. I quickly analyzed every pixel of that ultrasound screen and decided that the baby appears to be the right size for 13 weeks, but I couldn't see a heartbeat. Just when I was about to panic the baby bounced off the wall of my uterus with his legs and instantly I sighed with relief. I told the technician, "Well, if he's moving, there's a heartbeat!". The technician agreed, he had already noticed the heartbeat. He determined that the heart was beating 155 times a minute, and even played the sound for us, but the heartbeat wasn't showing up very clearly on the ultrasound. In past ultrasounds I've always noticed the heartbeat as soon as the baby showed up. But regardless of the "clarity", the heartbeat was there, and the technician seemed to think everything looked great. Maybe it didn't show up as clearly because my bladder was entirely empty.The technician also pointed out the placenta at the top of the screen and said, "There's the placenta. It's very vascular and is covering the front of the uterus, and may have gotten in the way when they were looking for the baby's heartbeat with the doppler." So apparently I have an anterior placenta, which is normally fine. The technician didn't seem concerned. But I read up on it and when I got home found out that if a person has had a c-section in the past (like me) it's possible for an anterior placenta to grow over top of (and sometimes into, and outside of) the old incision spot. This can be bad and dangerous. I could hemorrhage and die, which of course is the worst case scenario and worst case scenarios rarely happen. I'm not too worried about that currently, I doubt I'm going to die. But I could end up with a hysterectomy if the placenta doesn't separate properly from the old incision site after delivery. I definitely don't want a third kid for a long time, but I'm only 22 years old (23 in a few weeks) and I have a lot of childbearing years left. I'd prefer to not have a hysterectomy so young. I'm almost positive that in 10 years when my 2 kids are older and in school, I'll get baby fever and want another. I may or may not try for a third ever, but I'd like to have the option to.
Sometimes I think Google is my enemy and not my friend. I think I may be a hypochondriac and Google always tells me worst case scenarios about everything. I'm always terrified that myself or my loved ones are going to die. For instance, my husband has a BIG bruise on his hand. He doesn't know where it came from, but I'm just positive he has cancer and he's dying. Most likely it's just a normal bruise, but I almost have a panic attack every time I see it.
I guess what really matters today is that Dip is okay. He's alive and well in my belly, and hiding behind his placenta. Hey, I like to hide too. More than I like to admit.
Oh that would be a scary appointment. Glad Dip is doing well. I hope everything separates for you. I had three c-sections, even after a lot of internal tearing on the first one and everything has been fine
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