Relief

Although I'm still sad about the death of my kitty, we think we have found out how it occurred.  I am relieved to know now that there was most likely nothing we could have done to save him, and it was entirely out of our control.  When Eric gave him a good look-over this evening before burying him he noticed there was quite a bit of blood coming out of both of his ears.  We noticed a while back that he had a bit of a bump on his head and we thought it was just the shape of the skull because it was located in the spot where some (if not all?) dogs have a bump on the top of their head.  It wasn't a very large bump and never seemed out of the ordinary to us.  We actually forgot about the bump for long time.  Eric said that he noticed the bump again today and that it was was different and lop-sided now.  We're pretty sure that whatever happened to him had to do with the bump (which I'm assuming was a tumor) and nothing to do with the fact that he was in a cage in the garage.

A brain tumor would make a lot of sense because he has always acted a little weird.  He seemed to be getting "weirder" over time and we recently noticed a few changes in his personality which we thought were just due to moving several times and him not being able to adjust to the changes as easily as the other cats.  Looking back now I realize all of those things are symptoms of something unusual happening in his brain, but at the time, we just thought he was a quirky cat.  Even if we had gotten veterinary care for him upon finding the lump, it's probably not a condition that's easy to treat.  He most likely would have died anyway (especially because treating him would have required thousands of dollars we obviously didn't have, otherwise we wouldn't have lost our home) and I'm sure the vet would have recommended euthanasia.  My only regret is that his death occurred in a cage instead of curled up beside us in bed where he most loved to be, and that we didn't get a chance to say goodbye to him while he was still alive.

Whether or not our theory about his death is entirely correct, it's very unlikely that the cause of his death had anything to do with his temporarily living in a cage in the garage.  The only thing I can think of that could have caused bleeding from both ears (other than a hemorrhage) is if he had sustained trauma to his head.  There's no way that happened to him- the cage wasn't moved at all and no one beat him up!  Not unless he purposely banged his head repeatedly on the side of the cage.  And as silly as he was, I don't think he was suicidal.

I'll rest easier now, knowing that his death wasn't my fault.  I'll always miss that sweet little kitty, but now I'll be able to mourn him properly rather than suffering with all the guilt.  Everything happens for a reason, and like it or not, Flakie's life was meant to be short.  I hope he found all the happiness in his short life that he deserved and I hope he's even happier now wherever he is.  God bless my little Flakie.